Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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