i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
