YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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