Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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