Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize