So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
