I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
