I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize