my soul wont recognize me after tonight
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
