Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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