You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
