I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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