At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
