I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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