my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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