My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.