Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

First class.

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(818): View more from California

I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(662): View more from Mississippi

We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

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(802): View more from Vermont

hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up

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(702): View more from Nevada

The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.

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(516): View more from New York

it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

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