i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
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gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy