He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.