Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night

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(614): View more from Ohio

he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I take back everything I said about communal showers

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These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV

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(425): View more from Washington

The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag

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