I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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