How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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