woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
