when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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