I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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