A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
