did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
