Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i out mim tonsoeep
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize