So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
