okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
