Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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