We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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