haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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