My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
