yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
