guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
