we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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