i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
