it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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