Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
