whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need to calm my uterus...
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