Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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