Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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