So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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