forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize