She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
they're like a gay fantastic four
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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