from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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