I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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