Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize