just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
