Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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