he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
