I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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