Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
