ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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