I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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