you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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