No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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