I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
