Porn is love you can see.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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