Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
