need another drink. this is the easiest way
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
