I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
