you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
