You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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