If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
