Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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