i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Need sex. Gaining weight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
