Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
