Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
