haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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